Six Years Later

License 2007I have to renew my driver’s license. The last time I renewed it was six years ago yesterday.

Caleb’s medical diagnosis date is January 3rd, 2007, but I often say it was his preschool teacher who diagnosed him on January 2nd.

It was much like yesterday – the first day back to school from the holidays. We suspected diabetes, but it seemed improbable. Impossible. I dropped Caleb off at school and casually asked his teacher to keep an eye on him to see if he was going to the bathroom more than usual. I barely finished that statement when she let out a little gasp and put a hand to her mouth. It gave me a split second of hope because I just knew she was going to tell me about some virus going around. That hope was dashed when the word “diabetes” passed her lips in a whisper.

Just like that, hope turned to dread. At that moment, I knew in my heart it could be nothing else.

Because I didn’t understand the risks, I left Caleb at school planning to call the doctor later that day. I went directly to have my license renewed. I remember it clearly. I cried all the way from the school to the AAA office.

I haven’t been able to look at the picture on my license without remembering that day. I see the puffiness in my eyes and the forced smile. I remember standing on the mark to get my picture taken – I was numb.

I had planned to go back to that AAA office today, but Caleb woke up unwell. He takes great pride in his perfect attendance, so I knew when he said he wasn’t up to going to school, he wasn’t. Thankfully, he’s more himself tonight, so I’ll go for the renewal tomorrow. Six years and one day after.

I’ll have a new picture, and in a very peculiar way, it will be a new beginning.

The whole story of When It All Changed,

When I Knew,

and how We Were Lucky even though we waited. 


Update January 4, 2013, New beginning begun:License 2013

15 Replies to “Six Years Later”

  1. It is amazing how clear those moments remain years later. Michael was in preschool too. I can vividly replay every moment of 6/30/97 as if it was yesterday, and the 3 days before it too. Our precious babies growing up into pretty amazing PWD. My bond with you is strong and important. xox

  2. Wonderful post! I remember all types of little things about when I was diagnosed, but I never asked my parents point blank what they remembered about my diagnosis, and your post really makes me wish that I had.
    Sending you, Caleb & the whole family lots of love!

  3. Sigh. Those moments just before, just at and just after dx. Ryan was in kinder. I remember every moment of the day … every moment. But what I understand most from this post — the thought of a new picture meaning a new beginning. I get it.

  4. It all just changes, just like that, doesn’t it? And sometimes it’s so tiny, yet so profound. It is indeed,of all things, a new beginning. A new day.
    You are an awesome Mama, Lorraine, and I am so proud to call you a friend.

  5. Happy diaversary to Caleb! And you too, actually. I’m sure it felt like your own diagnosis. In only 6 years, you have become such a person to look up to, and not only for other parents of CWD but for PWD as well. Thank you for that.

  6. Happy Diaversary, Caleb – and here’s to a new license and a bit of a fresh start for you. I love your new picture – the DMV photogs here in southern CT aren’t as good as yours are. 😉

  7. We are coming up on our 6 year anniversary too. Caleb’s story is so similar to my daughters despite the age difference. I “knew” it was diabetes too, but waited. I had no clue she could die from it. So much we learned….

    Thanks for sharing!

  8. Oh, Lo. You got me with this one. Tears. I love you guys. Isn’t it funny what time and stories pass between those insignificant little life milestones like a license photo?

  9. Great writing, but it makes my eyes water. So many vivid details I remeber on both of those days for my girls. What a good preschool teacher. Glad you have a new pucture on you DL.

  10. Our daughter was also diagnosed the first day back to school after the holidays in 2009. I already knew something was wrong and had a pediatrician appt for that morning. I had suspected for a week but we were out of town and she wasn’t really acting sick. A1C of 13.4 that first day. We were lucky – no ketones and they didn’t hospitalize her. 5 hours in a tiny office with our CDE and they sent us home. She was 7 at the time. Just had her 4th “dia-versary” last week! Happy dia-versary to Caleb! Keep up the good work!

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: